*My girlfriend proposed to me in a very interesting way. She brought home a....seedling. She said, "Well, you already have an apartment. Here is your future tree. When you wish to have a son, call me." I agreed.
I have a phobia of spiders. My husband knows it well, but he never misses a chance to prank me. Last time, he presented me with a box with a surprise. I opened it, feeling intrigued, and a whole bunch of tiny spiders started to pour out of it. We quarreled for a long time about it. And, by the way, I took revenge — now he doesn’t have eyebrows or his favorite mustache. Ha!
*Recently we were having breakfast with our family. The porridge was tasty, but I was already full. Only a few spoonfuls of it were left, and I put them on my husband’s plate. My daughter exclaimed, very surprised, “I didn’t know that was allowed!“ Everybody started to laugh, and my husband replied, ”Only for Mom!"
*My husband and I work in the same company. He is a director and also my direct supervisor. There are some advantages to it: you can sleep with your boss and get nothing for it. But there are disadvantages as well: you can sleep with your boss and get nothing for it.
*My husband was at a corporate party with his colleagues until late at night. The staff is young and joyful, and his female colleagues are very attractive. He came back with a hangover. Although I trust him, I was feeling jealous nevertheless. When we went to bed, he was the first to fall asleep. After some time, I decided to flirt and tried to kiss him. He punched me on my nose, thinking that he was at the party. I am not jealous anymore.
*My husband writes some of my phrases in a special notepad and makes me put my signature below them. This stops me from later denying that I ever said those things. It’s very cute.
*Having seen me at a pedestrian crossing, my husband decided to play a joke on me. He started to accelerate his car, moving right toward me. I got scared and fell down. He jumped out of his car. He was scared to death, and he started to shake me and call an ambulance. That’s how I pranked him back. Since then he hasn’t played such jokes on me.
*One time I wanted to go back home to change the T-shirt I was wearing because I noticed a hole in it. But my girlfriend delved into her bag, took out a corn plaster, patched the T-shirt from inside, and masked the visible parts of the plaster with a black marker. Everything worked. That’s how I realized that she is my future wife.
*Recently I met a girl. I invited her to visit me. Like any hospitable person, I told her to make herself at home. She entered the sitting room, sat on the sofa, put her legs on a small table in front of it, and said in an important voice, "You should change the wallpaper in here." A month later, we did it together.
*I got some injections to make my lips look plumper. My husband was against it and said that he would not let me come back home. He kept his word. My face got swollen. My husband brought me some water saying that such toads can’t live without water. Love him.
*I love my plants very much. I have many different ones, even some that were brought as seedlings from different countries by smugglers. My husband always played jokes on me when I was talking to them, hugging them, and blowing them kisses. Once I went on a business trip for 2 weeks. After returning home, I went to take a shower. When I came out of the bathroom, I saw my husband standing near one of my plants with a sprayer saying, "Come on, dude, hold your leaves well or your mom will think that I wasn’t taking care of you and will bite my head off."
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